Philophobia – Fear of Falling In Love

Have you ever wanted to get inside someone’s mind and see what they think about you? Or been curious about how much they really like you? Well, since Covid-19 has ruined my plans for 2020, I’ve had hours to polish up my education on psychology! Learning how the mind works is so intriguing to me so I read some books, watched some videos, and wrote LOTS of notes to absorb all the information I could! All of these facts come from scientifically proven studies and I know they work because I’ve used some of them!

Before you start, I use the word “crush” in this post a lot, but you can replace that with “love interest” or “partner” or “spouse” or whatever word is appropriate for your current situation.

Without further ado, I present to you, psychology facts about love and attraction!

General/statistical facts – things you probably want to know

  • Philophobia is the fear of falling in love
  • Falling in love has the same neurological effect as getting high off cocaine
  • Holding a loved one’s hand relieves pain and stress
  • People see you 20% more attractive than you actually are
    • Since we see ourselves in the mirror every day, we don’t naturally find ourselves attractive. But for someone who has never seen us before, our appearance is completely different in their eyes
    • This should be a confidence booster!
  • Men are more likely to say “I love you” first
  • People who experience frustration attraction tend to like a person more after getting rejected by that person
    • People want what they can’t have, so play hard to get (as objectifying as it sounds, people like to play games, so if you’re too easy to get, people lose interest because the game is over. Although if you interact with this “game” in a healthy way, it can actually be fun to be chased – it makes you feel wanted but again, to a healthy extent this can work in your favor!)
  • The longer you hide your feelings for someone, the stronger they become
    • This is slightly related to frustration attraction, but I believe this to be true because as anxious human beings, we see the position we are in with the person we like, and it’s a great position! So, by telling them our real feelings, there’s fear of ruining the connection with them if they act indifferent to your true feelings. However, we also love to daydream about things we could do with that person in the future – we make up scenarios that we hope will happen and if expressing the truth doesn’t match our perfect daydreams, then we feel crushed – that’s why it’s called a crush!
  • Using someone’s name in conversation will switch that person’s attention to the conversation. They will know that someone is talking about them (in a positive way hopefully) and feel valued if they are able to hear it. As cheesy as it sounds, people also love hearing their name being said by someone they like
  • It takes 4 minutes to decide if you have a crush and 3 months to fall in love
    • If that crush lasts longer than 4 months, you’re most likely in love
  • Opposites actually don’t attract. We would rather interact with people who are very similar to ourselves (sure, this leaves less space for some interesting conversations, but agreeing viewpoints can also bring out years of great conversation)
    • For example, people who listen to the same music are better at communication and have stronger, longer-lasting relationships!
  • Relationships can end within 3-5 months because the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship starts to end
    • Try hard to push past this and keep it interesting. This can happen in friendships too sometimes – there’s always opportunities to learn something new about someone every day or try something new together
  • 71% of breakups happen due to mood swings
  • Ask someone for a small favor (like borrowing a pencil) – even if that person doesn’t like you, they will subconsciously start to like you because they’ve done a small act of kindness for you and makes them feel like they were helpful in the smallest way
  • Men who kiss their wives every morning are thought to live 5 years longer
  • Psychologically, it’s impossible to be “just friends” with people you’ve loved in the past
  • 82% of people are more confident approaching an attractive person if they have a dog with them (cause everyone thinks dogs are pretty cool!)
  • The color red makes you appear more attractive so wear it with your crush or loved one – subconsciously, they will be more attracted to you
    • Even a lot of psychologists don’t really know why it makes people more attractive, it just does. Studies have shown that people think it’s a sexy color and for men, it makes them appear more dominant. We also classify the color red as the color of love and passion. Hearts are red so red = love in our heart
  • For some reason, people are more attractive when their hair is wet and when it’s parted from the left to the right (that would mean on their own head, their part would be on the right side) Again, psychologists don’t really know why this is true
  • The color blue is psychologically the most attractive eye color
  • If you make eye contact with someone for 3 minutes straight, your heart beats will sync up
  • Naturally, women like men with deeper voices
  • People remember beginnings and ends but not so much of the middle parts, so make strong impressions with people at the beginning of meeting them and before leaving
  • If a woman takes interest in a man’s goofy hobbies, he will like that woman so much more than usual
    • Story time: my friend and I went to this bar downtown to hangout. Naturally when an introvert as myself starts feeling the alcoholic buzz, I feel more comfortable talking to strangers. There was this man (probably in his 40’s) sitting at the bar wearing a Rockstar brand tshirt! For those of you show don’t know, Rockstar is a video game company who has made games like Red Dead Redemption I and II, Grand Theft Auto, Bully, etc. I noticed and asked the man if he played video games by Rockstar in which he responded super excitedly that he did! We ended up talking about video games for an hour! My point is that this man got really excited that I was able to invest myself in his hobby (videogaming) and have a really awesome conversation with him!
  • Men enjoy compliments too, don’t be scared to freaking compliment them!!
  • If they make jokes about being single around you, they probably like you and they’re throwing out a hint *cough cough*
  • Men usually can’t take hints so, women, ask them on a date!
    • It’s 2020, let’s ignore the gender norms, it’s not impolite for women to ask men on a date when both of them want to go on a date but they’re shy about asking!

Body language facts – understand the signs

  • If someone is anxious, sad, or uncomfortable, they’ll usually walk with their head down, back arched, and hands in pockets
  • Clasped hands – people do this when they are stressed to try to comfort themselves
    • I’ve noticed I’ve done this too when I’ve been on an uncomfortable/awkward situation (even when standing). If you notice your date doing this, maybe reassure them somehow or change the subject to something light-hearted, something they want to talk about
  • Hold eye contact – it plays a huge role in falling in love (but maybe for the first date, not too much eye contact to the point where you’re both just staring in silence)
    • This also works if someone is telling a story but holding back on some juicy details – let them tell the story and then don’t respond, just make eye contact and be silent, the other person will feel awkward and probably add onto the story due to uncomfortable feelings from the silence
  • Notice the speed of their blinking – this could tell you how they’re feeling
    • If they are blinking too fast, they feel distressed and uncomfortable. If they blink a little too slow, that means they are probably zoning out and not engaged in the conversation. But if they blink an appropriate amount, that means they are engaged and interested in what you’re saying (this requires some focus on your part and could also vary depending on the type of person you’re with)
  • Facial hints
    • If they purse or tighten their lips while you’re talking to them, they feel uncomfortable so try changing the subject (they do this because they’re trying to hide their facial expression – unfortunately, their face is naturally contorting in disagreement or negativity towards what you’re saying)
    • Look for wrinkles (or crows feet) in the corners of their eyes when they laugh – if you don’t see them, they are fake laughing
    • Also look if you can see their top teeth when they smile – if you can see their bottom teeth only, it’s a fake smile
  • Yawns are contagious
    • Try yawning and see if anyone else around you yawns. If they do, that means they’re watching you or paying attention to you from a distance. This is true on both ends – if you’re watching someone and they yawn, it can be hard to fight a yawn within yourself as well (if you yawned during this sentence, I’ve proven my point!)
  • We tend to copy the mannerisms of people we like (whether we notice it or not). If they lean forward in their chair, we slightly lean forward in ours. Or if they cross their arms, then we cross ours too
    • Mirroring someone’s body language (especially in sales) can subconsciously make them like you a little more. And if they are really engaged in the conversation, they may lean forward (or even move their face closer to yours) to be physically closer to you. One other cue is if they touch their neck, they are very interested in what you’re saying. This one is more for sit-down situations but pay attention to THE NECK!
  • When we laugh in a group, we tend to look at the person we feel closest to or like (so if you notice no one is looking at you, I’m sorry)
    • This is VERY true as I always look at my best friend when laughing in a group, even if they are in an awkward direction, I’ll move my head to look at them!
  • People usually stand 3 feet apart and have a personal bubble of a 3 feet radius. But if someone steps inside that bubble and breaks that 3 feet, they probably like you.
    • Especially if they touch you a lot, lean in, or randomly bump their hand against yours, they probably like you. If you allow them into this bubble this also means you’re very comfortable around them. If you notice them leaning into you after you tell a cheesy joke, they like you because they want to be physically touching you as much as possible, even in the most unnecessary situations such as telling a joke or walking side by side
  • Match their walking speed – when people walk at the same speed, there’s a mutual attraction level.
    • This way, no one feels left behind and you’ll both feel in sync and feel a higher attraction towards each other (in the slightest way)

Tips to use with your date!

  • We tend to find symmetry attractive, so wear glasses to make your face more symmetrical and to make yourself appear more intelligent
    • This is more of a silly suggestion for appearances, so if you don’t wear glasses, be your authentic self! Win them over with your personality instead of your looks! But don’t forget, you can always wear red!
  • When you compliment your date’s personality instead of their externalities (like appearance), they’ll feel more valuable because you complimented a part of who they are, not what they look like
  • Take your date somewhere their adrenaline will pump!!
    • This is called deceptive affection but it’s not as manipulative as the name might make it sound. Take your date to an amusement park or a haunted house. When their heart is zooming because of the thrill and they’re looking at you, their brain will think their heart is pumping fast BECAUSE of you. This works for me too as me and my best friend went to a rave together and it actually made me like them more and feel closer to them
    • Also, whenever your date sees you the next time, they will be reminded of those thrilling memories!
  • Make them talk about themselves. People love to talk about themselves so if you ask questions about their life and interest, they’ll think you’re interested in them (which you hopefully are!)
  • Tell your deep secrets to your crush (I mean, don’t overshare, but show them who you are)
    • It will make them feel more connected to you and more special as you are revealing a vulnerable piece of yourself
  • Treat your crush like a new acquaintance, not a casual friend
    • This means don’t freak out if they don’t text every day, don’t get sad if you’re stuck in the “small talk” zone for a little while, etc. Expect occasional interaction, not often interaction. Thinking this way will help you be a little less nervous


To find these facts for yourself, check out:

  1. The Psychology Book – Big Ideas Simply Explained
  2. What Every Body is Saying
  3. Way of the Wolf
  4. Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior

  5. Kraabbyy on Tik Tok
  6. Onlyjayus on Tik Tok

If y’all liked this post, I’ll do another post about random psychology facts that you probably want to know about!


Gerascophobia – Fear of Growing Up

Here are some great tips from people who learned adulting the hard way! This is mainly for you younger folks who are entering adulthood soon, but it might contain some helpful info for y’all who have been adulting for a while now! Enjoy!


  1. Even if you get along great with your family now, the connection/relationship will be better once you move out
  2. Generic brands are almost always just as good as name brand but there are some things you never buy generic: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
  3. Most people hate talking on the phone, so be patient and respectful
  4. Thrift stores are EVERYTHING!!!
  5. Everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about themselves that they don’t notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong with you
  6. You will screw up… a lot. You live and learn when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened (and how you wish you could change it) just tell yourself it’s done. There’s no changing it, just move on and forgive yourself. It’s the only way to stay sane
  8. If you do put dawn in the dishwasher, run it on empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes
  9. Don’t be afraid to cart-surf down the grocery aisle
  10. Sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it will get better doesn’t make it suck less, but you’ll never get non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness
  11. Dollar store batteries work just as well as store-brand
  12. Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done – it’s a good way to remind yourself to do them
  13. Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, frozen veggies, and a spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. They all make multiple meals
  14. Keep a calendar of when all your bills are due – you can call the company to switch the due dates
  15. There’s no shame in calling for an extension of a bill. Let them know the amount you can pay, then arrange when you can pay the rest
  16. Take time to eat, even if you don’t feel like it. Your body needs energy to live.
  17. Magic erasers work on everything – don’t scrub hard
  18. Never take meds with alcohol (keep it to water)
  19. Check dosages for bottled pills and drugs. No one wants to overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen
  20. Ginger tea does wonders for nausea
  21. Keep antibiotic ointment
  22. Fruits, milk, and sunshine are great for you!
  23. If you live off ramen noodles, only add half the flavor packet and add veggies and spices
  24. Potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them
  25. Buy meat and veggies on sale and freeze them. You can defrost them for a later day (as far as 6 months later)
  26. Soak ink stains in milk to get them out
  27. Use cold water for bloodstains
  28. Acetone, found in most nail polish removers, dissolves super glue
  29. Keep a flashlight in your car in case your car breaks down and your phone is dead
  30. Put jumper cables, water, non-perishable food, extra pair of clothes, blanket, tools in your car for whenever
  31. Know how to change a tire
  32. Bake your own bread if normal bread gets too expensive
  33. If you use a baseball bat for a defense weapon in your home, put a sock on the end of it so the attacker can’t disarm the weapon at first
  34. Go back to bed if you’re really sick
  35. Treat yourself at the main character – everyone else is a supporting character in YOUR story

Medication Lesson

  • Acetaminophen = Tylenol
    • Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Don’t take with ibuprofen
  • Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin
    • Used for pain, fever, anti-inflammatory – good for period cramps
  • Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn
    • Used for fever, pain, arthritis, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, toothache
  • Asprin = Bayer
    • Used for pain, fever, arthritis, inflammation. Makes you bleed easily. Might reduce risk of heart attack
  • Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin
    • Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing

The Pier

If you shall sail away tomorrow, dear
May I pass by the foaming white beach side
And lay my soul to rest beneath the pier

How can I live if I live in this fear?
Not enough times, i tried, you tried, we tried
And soon you’ll sail away tomorrow, dear

Is it worth living worlds away, from here?
Or worth living without your love, your bride?
If so, I’ll lay my soul below the pier

My heart like an anchor, it pulls you near
But distance binds me underneath the tide
How can you sail away today, my dear?

May I sink to the ocean floor, so clear
The waves stroking my feet with every stride
And soon burry my soul beneath the pier

My heart is soaked and salty as a tear
All of my bones have somehow pruned inside
And now you are sailing away, my dear
I lay my soul to sleep beneath the pier

Coulrophobia – Fear of Clowns

Have you ever gotten so fixated on a book, movie, tv-show, or person (fictional or real) to the point where it’s the only thing you think and talk about? If so, then great because that’s where I’m currently at! I’ve gotten hooked to a familiar clown character. You know her, Batman despises her. She’s the Cupid of Crime, the Maid of Mischief. That’s right, I’m talking about

Harley Quinn

Formerly known as Harleen Quinzel, this DC villain was a person of interest for me this past week. I finally got the chance to watch Birds of Prey which follows Harley’s journey right after she breaks up with the Joker. (Check out the Trailer!) I also have to add that Margot Robbie’s performance is incredible!

(To watch online, visit

After watching the movie, I thought it was suitable to listen to a podcast about the film (because who doesn’t love podcasts? Lots of people, I know). I went over to NPR’s episode of Pop Culture Happy Hour to get some second opinions. It turns out they loved the film just as much as I did! Not only that but at the end of each episode, they have a segment called “what’s making us happy this week.” Glen Weldon of NPR’s Arts desk shares that he’s interested in a show called Harley Quinn on the DC Universe streaming app. It is a cartoon show that is NOT meant for kids. 81z3o+phwTL._RI_Similarly to Family Guy, this animated series is meant for more mature audiences but still possesses the perfect amount of action and adult humor that it’s not considered downright “inappropriate.” I personally cannot stand shows and movies that are based solely on sexual content. While this show makes some sexual jokes, it never shows sexual content and I appreciate that. Each episode is around 20 minutes and has a focused plot (I only discovered it two days ago and already finished the first season). So if you’re searching for a new show that’s got action and relatable, sarcastic humor, then look no further!

(To watch for free, go to

I definitely recommend this show and Birds of Prey to any DC Universe fans out there! It gives you a chance to watch some great content and to cheer for the villains (who might not be villains after all). Enjoy!


biting down on chewing gum

can’t stop thinking about it

pick and twiddle at my thumb

can’t stop thinking about it

knuckles crack against the bricks

can’t stop thinking about it

count my scars, four, five, six

can’t stop thinking about it

digging out my fresh, red scabs

can’t stop thinking about it

time to take a few more dabs

can’t stop thinking about it

paranoid, ADHD

can’t stop thinking about it

scheduled to break at one, two, three

can’t stop thinking about it

smokey lungs and itchy throat

can’t stop thinking about it

my liver’s ready to explode

can’t stop thinking about it



Crushes Suck.

I’ve never been in love, so I don’t know how it’s supposed to feel
And I’m pretty sure I’m in love with the wrong person.

The wrong person catches my eye in a crowded room.
The wrong person makes the flowers in my body bloom.
The wrong person makes me laugh way more than usual.
The wrong person makes my daydreams sound delusional.
The wrong person gives me powerful feelings I’ve never had.
The wrong person makes me show off my dance moves that are… my god, so bad.
The wrong person is the inspiration of my writing.
The wrong person is the reason everything is aligning.
The wrong person teaches me how to love every single day.
The wrong person makes me think “You’re the one, there’s no other way.”

Now replace “the wrong person” with the name of your crush – and then get over it!

If the wrong person can make you feel like that, imagine what the right person can make you feel…

Butterfly Bones

i had butterflies through my entire body

ready to rip my chest apart

and fly from my rib cage

my heart fluttered its wings

my body floated to the ceiling

and there was no chance of falling

for a weight had been lifted

making me light as a feather

and a cover had been pulled

making me bright as Sirius

Agathophobia – Fear of Kindness

So I recently invested in a small but wonderful bracelet from Hot Topic


In case you can’t tell, this bracelet is made up of “dots” and “dashes.” It spells out a word in morse code. If you wanna solve the mystery on your own, here’s the code:


If you don’t want to waste your time, scroll down










My bracelet translates to “Ahole,” or in other words: Asshole. Now, I didn’t buy this bracelet to label myself as an asshole. I also didn’t buy it because it looks like a nice piece of meaningless jewelry. I bought it to remind myself of how shitty people can be sometimes (including myself). Every time I look down at my bracelet, I will think one of two things:

1)  “They are being an asshole to me, but hopefully, they don’t mean to”


2)  “I am being an asshole, so stop being rude and choose kindness”

This code reminds me to be authentic. Since the norm for society seems to be “fight fire with more fire,” I want to remind myself that (for the most part), that is never going to work in my favor – I would know from personal experience. So instead, when someone is being rude, I simply need to take 5 seconds to be frustrated (mentally), and then calmly approach the situation with the intention to defuse any conflict. It also reminds me of a brilliant line from the tv show Lost:

Jack: “… And I knew I had to deal with it. So I just made a choice. I’d let the fear in. Let it take over. Let it do its thing. But only for five seconds. That’s all I was gonna give it. So I started to count to five. I could feel it inside — like when you drink a milkshake on a hot day. One, two, three, four, five. And it was gone.” – S1E1

Instead of fear, it would be anger, or frustration, or whatever negative emotion is present when dealing with difficult people. On top of that, I think it’s important to allow yourself to feel what the situation calls for. I believe it’s foolish to pretend you aren’t feeling negative when you are, but I also believe you shouldn’t act upon that negativity in a violent/extreme way. As everyone says, “communication is key” and if you want to express that something makes you upset, then do it. It doesn’t have to turn into a brawl of any sort (and if it does, then either you or the other person approached the situation incorrectly, causing it to escalate). If the other person (or people) truly are an asshole and think it’s entertaining to start a fight, then just walk away. There’s no point in fighting a bully (unless it’s through kind words).

Overall though, this bracelet is a reminder that humans make mistakes and have bad days. We can’t condemn them for it and we need to practice patience. Now, whenever I’m in a rough situation, I have a shiny reminder that no one is really the villain, it’s just one of those days – approaching it with positivity will make the difference  🙂

tHORNY Roses – Poem Analysis

good Evening, little Primrose

your leaves make me bleed

you’re thornless, I suppose

planted with blood on your seed

This is a special poem of the week because it’s the first time I’m going to explain the significance. Even though this is a short poem, I will explain what every line means and show you where the easter eggs are.

The most general idea of this poem is that this flower represents a human’s personality from their leaves (attributes) to their thorns (negative characteristics) and the way they are planted (behavior).

First off, I intentionally made every line lower case to emphasize an easter egg in the first line. The only capitalized words in this poem are “Evening” and “Primrose” and this roseeis because there’s actually a flower called the evening primrose (left). As you can see, this flower looks like it has thorns on its stem, but really, the leaves are just super pointy. From a distance, this flower may look intimidating, but it’s not.

This became a message that appearances are different from far away compared to up close. That’s why the second line is “your leaves make me bleed.” Although the leaves aren’t sharp, they look like they could cut someone and do some damage. This line is also a play on words: “leaves” represent goodbyes. When someone says goodbye, they leave your side and that can be painful sometimes. Similarly, when you get cut deep enough to bleed, it’s also painful.

Again, this whole poem focuses on the outward appearance. In the third line, the writer is talking to the flower, or the person the flower represents. It’s written in a tone that is unsure and somewhat condescending because although there is nothing harmful on this flower, it still looks like there is. Therefore, the writer is being cautious of its interaction with this plant. 

This brings us to the last line: planted with blood on your seed. This has two meanings. If a seed is planted with blood on it, that means it’s an unpure seed. The way I see it is that a bloody flower can either be good or bad. It can represent a plant that is full of life and literally contains “a mother’s touch” or it will wither because a seed that is grown by blood instead of water won’t blossom.

Now that you know the significance of this short poem, you can understand that it essentially represents the essence of human life. People are either innately virtuous or evil but you have to dig to the roots to find out which one they are.

Thanks for reading! I’m glad I could share this explanation into my intricate thought process when writing a poem. (Not all my poems require this much thought though – sometimes they have no meaning at all) ☻