Philophobia – Fear of Falling In Love

Have you ever wanted to get inside someone’s mind and see what they think about you? Or been curious about how much they really like you? Well, since Covid-19 has ruined my plans for 2020, I’ve had hours to polish up my education on psychology! Learning how the mind works is so intriguing to me so I read some books, watched some videos, and wrote LOTS of notes to absorb all the information I could! All of these facts come from scientifically proven studies and I know they work because I’ve used some of them!

Before you start, I use the word “crush” in this post a lot, but you can replace that with “love interest” or “partner” or “spouse” or whatever word is appropriate for your current situation.

Without further ado, I present to you, psychology facts about love and attraction!

General/statistical facts – things you probably want to know

Philophobia is the fear of falling in love
Falling in love has the same neurological effect as getting high off cocaine
Holding a loved one’s hand relieves pain and stress
People see you 20% more attractive than you actually are
- Since we see ourselves in the mirror every day, we don’t naturally find ourselves attractive. But for someone who has never seen us before, our appearance is completely different in their eyes
- This should be a confidence booster!
Men are more likely to say “I love you” first
People who experience frustration attraction tend to like a person more after getting rejected by that person
- People want what they can’t have, so play hard to get (as objectifying as it sounds, people like to play games, so if you’re too easy to get, people lose interest because the game is over. Although if you interact with this “game” in a healthy way, it can actually be fun to be chased – it makes you feel wanted but again, to a healthy extent this can work in your favor!)
The longer you hide your feelings for someone, the stronger they become
- This is slightly related to frustration attraction, but I believe this to be true because as anxious human beings, we see the position we are in with the person we like, and it’s a great position! So, by telling them our real feelings, there’s fear of ruining the connection with them if they act indifferent to your true feelings. However, we also love to daydream about things we could do with that person in the future – we make up scenarios that we hope will happen and if expressing the truth doesn’t match our perfect daydreams, then we feel crushed – that’s why it’s called a crush!
Using someone’s name in conversation will switch that person’s attention to the conversation. They will know that someone is talking about them (in a positive way hopefully) and feel valued if they are able to hear it. As cheesy as it sounds, people also love hearing their name being said by someone they like
It takes 4 minutes to decide if you have a crush and 3 months to fall in love
- If that crush lasts longer than 4 months, you’re most likely in love
Opposites actually don’t attract. We would rather interact with people who are very similar to ourselves (sure, this leaves less space for some interesting conversations, but agreeing viewpoints can also bring out years of great conversation)
- For example, people who listen to the same music are better at communication and have stronger, longer-lasting relationships!
Relationships can end within 3-5 months because the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship starts to end
- Try hard to push past this and keep it interesting. This can happen in friendships too sometimes – there’s always opportunities to learn something new about someone every day or try something new together
71% of breakups happen due to mood swings
Ask someone for a small favor (like borrowing a pencil) – even if that person doesn’t like you, they will subconsciously start to like you because they’ve done a small act of kindness for you and makes them feel like they were helpful in the smallest way
Men who kiss their wives every morning are thought to live 5 years longer
Psychologically, it’s impossible to be “just friends” with people you’ve loved in the past
82% of people are more confident approaching an attractive person if they have a dog with them (cause everyone thinks dogs are pretty cool!)
The color red makes you appear more attractive so wear it with your crush or loved one – subconsciously, they will be more attracted to you
- Even a lot of psychologists don’t really know why it makes people more attractive, it just does. Studies have shown that people think it’s a sexy color and for men, it makes them appear more dominant. We also classify the color red as the color of love and passion. Hearts are red so red = love in our heart
For some reason, people are more attractive when their hair is wet and when it’s parted from the left to the right (that would mean on their own head, their part would be on the right side) Again, psychologists don’t really know why this is true
The color blue is psychologically the most attractive eye color
If you make eye contact with someone for 3 minutes straight, your heart beats will sync up
Naturally, women like men with deeper voices
People remember beginnings and ends but not so much of the middle parts, so make strong impressions with people at the beginning of meeting them and before leaving
If a woman takes interest in a man’s goofy hobbies, he will like that woman so much more than usual
- Story time: my friend and I went to this bar downtown to hangout. Naturally when an introvert as myself starts feeling the alcoholic buzz, I feel more comfortable talking to strangers. There was this man (probably in his 40’s) sitting at the bar wearing a Rockstar brand tshirt! For those of you show don’t know, Rockstar is a video game company who has made games like Red Dead Redemption I and II, Grand Theft Auto, Bully, etc. I noticed and asked the man if he played video games by Rockstar in which he responded super excitedly that he did! We ended up talking about video games for an hour! My point is that this man got really excited that I was able to invest myself in his hobby (videogaming) and have a really awesome conversation with him!
Men enjoy compliments too, don’t be scared to freaking compliment them!!
If they make jokes about being single around you, they probably like you and they’re throwing out a hint *cough cough*
Men usually can’t take hints so, women, ask them on a date!
- It’s 2020, let’s ignore the gender norms, it’s not impolite for women to ask men on a date when both of them want to go on a date but they’re shy about asking!

Body language facts – understand the signs

If someone is anxious, sad, or uncomfortable, they’ll usually walk with their head down, back arched, and hands in pockets
Clasped hands – people do this when they are stressed to try to comfort themselves
- I’ve noticed I’ve done this too when I’ve been on an uncomfortable/awkward situation (even when standing). If you notice your date doing this, maybe reassure them somehow or change the subject to something light-hearted, something they want to talk about
Hold eye contact – it plays a huge role in falling in love (but maybe for the first date, not too much eye contact to the point where you’re both just staring in silence)
- This also works if someone is telling a story but holding back on some juicy details – let them tell the story and then don’t respond, just make eye contact and be silent, the other person will feel awkward and probably add onto the story due to uncomfortable feelings from the silence
Notice the speed of their blinking – this could tell you how they’re feeling
- If they are blinking too fast, they feel distressed and uncomfortable. If they blink a little too slow, that means they are probably zoning out and not engaged in the conversation. But if they blink an appropriate amount, that means they are engaged and interested in what you’re saying (this requires some focus on your part and could also vary depending on the type of person you’re with)
Facial hints
- If they purse or tighten their lips while you’re talking to them, they feel uncomfortable so try changing the subject (they do this because they’re trying to hide their facial expression – unfortunately, their face is naturally contorting in disagreement or negativity towards what you’re saying)
- Look for wrinkles (or crows feet) in the corners of their eyes when they laugh – if you don’t see them, they are fake laughing
- Also look if you can see their top teeth when they smile – if you can see their bottom teeth only, it’s a fake smile
Yawns are contagious
- Try yawning and see if anyone else around you yawns. If they do, that means they’re watching you or paying attention to you from a distance. This is true on both ends – if you’re watching someone and they yawn, it can be hard to fight a yawn within yourself as well (if you yawned during this sentence, I’ve proven my point!)
We tend to copy the mannerisms of people we like (whether we notice it or not). If they lean forward in their chair, we slightly lean forward in ours. Or if they cross their arms, then we cross ours too
- Mirroring someone’s body language (especially in sales) can subconsciously make them like you a little more. And if they are really engaged in the conversation, they may lean forward (or even move their face closer to yours) to be physically closer to you. One other cue is if they touch their neck, they are very interested in what you’re saying. This one is more for sit-down situations but pay attention to THE NECK!
When we laugh in a group, we tend to look at the person we feel closest to or like (so if you notice no one is looking at you, I’m sorry)
- This is VERY true as I always look at my best friend when laughing in a group, even if they are in an awkward direction, I’ll move my head to look at them!
People usually stand 3 feet apart and have a personal bubble of a 3 feet radius. But if someone steps inside that bubble and breaks that 3 feet, they probably like you.
- Especially if they touch you a lot, lean in, or randomly bump their hand against yours, they probably like you. If you allow them into this bubble this also means you’re very comfortable around them. If you notice them leaning into you after you tell a cheesy joke, they like you because they want to be physically touching you as much as possible, even in the most unnecessary situations such as telling a joke or walking side by side
Match their walking speed – when people walk at the same speed, there’s a mutual attraction level.
- This way, no one feels left behind and you’ll both feel in sync and feel a higher attraction towards each other (in the slightest way)

Tips to use with your date!

We tend to find symmetry attractive, so wear glasses to make your face more symmetrical and to make yourself appear more intelligent
- This is more of a silly suggestion for appearances, so if you don’t wear glasses, be your authentic self! Win them over with your personality instead of your looks! But don’t forget, you can always wear red!
When you compliment your date’s personality instead of their externalities (like appearance), they’ll feel more valuable because you complimented a part of who they are, not what they look like
Take your date somewhere their adrenaline will pump!!
- This is called deceptive affection but it’s not as manipulative as the name might make it sound. Take your date to an amusement park or a haunted house. When their heart is zooming because of the thrill and they’re looking at you, their brain will think their heart is pumping fast BECAUSE of you. This works for me too as me and my best friend went to a rave together and it actually made me like them more and feel closer to them
- Also, whenever your date sees you the next time, they will be reminded of those thrilling memories!
Make them talk about themselves. People love to talk about themselves so if you ask questions about their life and interest, they’ll think you’re interested in them (which you hopefully are!)
Tell your deep secrets to your crush (I mean, don’t overshare, but show them who you are)
- It will make them feel more connected to you and more special as you are revealing a vulnerable piece of yourself
Treat your crush like a new acquaintance, not a casual friend
- This means don’t freak out if they don’t text every day, don’t get sad if you’re stuck in the “small talk” zone for a little while, etc. Expect occasional interaction, not often interaction. Thinking this way will help you be a little less nervous

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To find these facts for yourself, check out:

The Psychology Book – Big Ideas Simply Explained
What Every Body is Saying
Way of the Wolf
Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior
Kraabbyy on Tik Tok
Onlyjayus on Tik Tok

If y’all liked this post, I’ll do another post about random psychology facts that you probably want to know about!

Gerascophobia – Fear of Growing Up

Here are some great tips from people who learned adulting the hard way! This is mainly for you younger folks who are entering adulthood soon, but it might contain some helpful info for y’all who have been adulting for a while now! Enjoy!

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Even if you get along great with your family now, the connection/relationship will be better once you move out
Generic brands are almost always just as good as name brand but there are some things you never buy generic: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
Most people hate talking on the phone, so be patient and respectful
Thrift stores are EVERYTHING!!!
Everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about themselves that they don’t notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong with you
You will screw up… a lot. You live and learn when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened (and how you wish you could change it) just tell yourself it’s done. There’s no changing it, just move on and forgive yourself. It’s the only way to stay sane
NEVER PUT DAWN IN THE DISHWASHER.
If you do put dawn in the dishwasher, run it on empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes
Don’t be afraid to cart-surf down the grocery aisle
Sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it will get better doesn’t make it suck less, but you’ll never get non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness
Dollar store batteries work just as well as store-brand
Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done – it’s a good way to remind yourself to do them
Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, frozen veggies, and a spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. They all make multiple meals
Keep a calendar of when all your bills are due – you can call the company to switch the due dates
There’s no shame in calling for an extension of a bill. Let them know the amount you can pay, then arrange when you can pay the rest
Take time to eat, even if you don’t feel like it. Your body needs energy to live.
Magic erasers work on everything – don’t scrub hard
Never take meds with alcohol (keep it to water)
Check dosages for bottled pills and drugs. No one wants to overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen
Ginger tea does wonders for nausea
Keep antibiotic ointment
Fruits, milk, and sunshine are great for you!
If you live off ramen noodles, only add half the flavor packet and add veggies and spices
Potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them
Buy meat and veggies on sale and freeze them. You can defrost them for a later day (as far as 6 months later)
Soak ink stains in milk to get them out
Use cold water for bloodstains
Acetone, found in most nail polish removers, dissolves super glue
Keep a flashlight in your car in case your car breaks down and your phone is dead
Put jumper cables, water, non-perishable food, extra pair of clothes, blanket, tools in your car for whenever
Know how to change a tire
Bake your own bread if normal bread gets too expensive
If you use a baseball bat for a defense weapon in your home, put a sock on the end of it so the attacker can’t disarm the weapon at first
Go back to bed if you’re really sick
Treat yourself at the main character – everyone else is a supporting character in YOUR story

Medication Lesson

Acetaminophen = Tylenol
- Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Don’t take with ibuprofen
Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin
- Used for pain, fever, anti-inflammatory – good for period cramps
Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn
- Used for fever, pain, arthritis, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, toothache
Asprin = Bayer
- Used for pain, fever, arthritis, inflammation. Makes you bleed easily. Might reduce risk of heart attack
Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin
- Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing

Coulrophobia – Fear of Clowns

Have you ever gotten so fixated on a book, movie, tv-show, or person (fictional or real) to the point where it’s the only thing you think and talk about? If so, then great because that’s where I’m currently at! I’ve gotten hooked to a familiar clown character. You know her, Batman despises her. She’s the Cupid of Crime, the Maid of Mischief. That’s right, I’m talking about

Harley Quinn

Formerly known as Harleen Quinzel, this DC villain was a person of interest for me this past week. I finally got the chance to watch Birds of Prey which follows Harley’s journey right after she breaks up with the Joker. (Check out the Trailer!) I also have to add that Margot Robbie’s performance is incredible!

(To watch online, visit MyFlixer.com)

After watching the movie, I thought it was suitable to listen to a podcast about the film (because who doesn’t love podcasts? Lots of people, I know). I went over to NPR’s episode of Pop Culture Happy Hour to get some second opinions. It turns out they loved the film just as much as I did! Not only that but at the end of each episode, they have a segment called “what’s making us happy this week.” Glen Weldon of NPR’s Arts desk shares that he’s interested in a show called Harley Quinn on the DC Universe streaming app. It is a cartoon show that is NOT meant for kids. Similarly to Family Guy, this animated series is meant for more mature audiences but still possesses the perfect amount of action and adult humor that it’s not considered downright “inappropriate.” I personally cannot stand shows and movies that are based solely on sexual content. While this show makes some sexual jokes, it never shows sexual content and I appreciate that. Each episode is around 20 minutes and has a focused plot (I only discovered it two days ago and already finished the first season). So if you’re searching for a new show that’s got action and relatable, sarcastic humor, then look no further!

(To watch for free, go to MyFlixer.com)

I definitely recommend this show and Birds of Prey to any DC Universe fans out there! It gives you a chance to watch some great content and to cheer for the villains (who might not be villains after all). Enjoy!

Agathophobia – Fear of Kindness

So I recently invested in a small but wonderful bracelet from Hot Topic

In case you can’t tell, this bracelet is made up of “dots” and “dashes.” It spells out a word in morse code. If you wanna solve the mystery on your own, here’s the code:

If you don’t want to waste your time, scroll down

My bracelet translates to “Ahole,” or in other words: Asshole. Now, I didn’t buy this bracelet to label myself as an asshole. I also didn’t buy it because it looks like a nice piece of meaningless jewelry. I bought it to remind myself of how shitty people can be sometimes (including myself). Every time I look down at my bracelet, I will think one of two things:

1) “They are being an asshole to me, but hopefully, they don’t mean to”

2) “I am being an asshole, so stop being rude and choose kindness”

This code reminds me to be authentic. Since the norm for society seems to be “fight fire with more fire,” I want to remind myself that (for the most part), that is never going to work in my favor – I would know from personal experience. So instead, when someone is being rude, I simply need to take 5 seconds to be frustrated (mentally), and then calmly approach the situation with the intention to defuse any conflict. It also reminds me of a brilliant line from the tv show Lost:

Jack: “… And I knew I had to deal with it. So I just made a choice. I’d let the fear in. Let it take over. Let it do its thing. But only for five seconds. That’s all I was gonna give it. So I started to count to five. I could feel it inside — like when you drink a milkshake on a hot day. One, two, three, four, five. And it was gone.” – S1E1

Instead of fear, it would be anger, or frustration, or whatever negative emotion is present when dealing with difficult people. On top of that, I think it’s important to allow yourself to feel what the situation calls for. I believe it’s foolish to pretend you aren’t feeling negative when you are, but I also believe you shouldn’t act upon that negativity in a violent/extreme way. As everyone says, “communication is key” and if you want to express that something makes you upset, then do it. It doesn’t have to turn into a brawl of any sort (and if it does, then either you or the other person approached the situation incorrectly, causing it to escalate). If the other person (or people) truly are an asshole and think it’s entertaining to start a fight, then just walk away. There’s no point in fighting a bully (unless it’s through kind words).

Overall though, this bracelet is a reminder that humans make mistakes and have bad days. We can’t condemn them for it and we need to practice patience. Now, whenever I’m in a rough situation, I have a shiny reminder that no one is really the villain, it’s just one of those days – approaching it with positivity will make the difference 🙂

Gynophobia – Fear of Women

Attention beautiful humans: I have a question for you.

When do you feel most like a woman?

Is it when you’re in a super fancy dress with makeup and high heels, ready to make that snazzy first impression. Is it when you’re wearing sneakers and a sports bra, covered in dirt and sweat, ready to take that next step to living healthy? What about when you’re casually wearing a t-shirt and jeans, living life one day at a time? No matter when it is, I want you to know that you are “woman enough” for the world!

One of my favorite Canadian actresses describes womanhood in a beautiful and relatable way: @baumanelise ‘Bites the Bullet’ for shethority and @the_bangbang and says, “I’m biting the bullet and redefining what femininity means to me. I’ve previously muted my more tomboy side, thinking it wasn’t “attractive” or “feminine” enough, but what I’m coming to realize is that often when I feel the most connected to my womanhood is when I’m covered in sweat, pushing my body to the limit. To me, being a woman is full of passion and power and flaws and mess and anger and compassion and so much more.”💪👊 📷 (x)

After breaking out of my shell and experiencing the world, I realize that there is no set way to define femininity because it means something different to everyone. I relate to Elise’s words in the way that I don’t feel connected to my womanhood when I’m all dressed up. Although society believes a feminine person should practically resemble a Barbie doll, it’s an unhealthy image that’s enforced into a stereotype. I don’t feel like a true woman when I’m hiding under the foundation and the eyeliner and the lipstick – I don’t feel like myself. I am in no way similar to the next person, so why is femininity mainly revolving around poise and being “lady-like” all the time?

This question got me thinking, “When do I feel most like a woman?”

As some of you may have guessed, I love to share my art (paintings, drawings, pieces of poetry, etc.) and found that whenever I share that art and receive feedback, I gain a wave of confidence. It’s a type of confidence that either drives me to improve my work, or to be at peace with the creation I’ve made. Naturally, my mind interprets the world in a different light and, for some reason, I feel a need to share that perspective with others. To expand on this a little – I am the type of person who enjoys the little things whole-heartedly. There is so much beauty in the color of fresh grass. There is a sense of joy waiting for you in a cup of coffee by the open window. There’s a whole new world waiting to whisper to you when you stare at the moon. I have found these all to be signs of happiness and it’s made me realize that I need to fall in love more – Fall in love with the feeling of my head hitting the pillow and the color of my nephew’s eyes. Fall in love with things other than people. Be spontaneous and throw away that 5-year plan. My mind has been remodeled to focus on the exact moment I’m living in and nothing else. My ideology for this life is based on the idea that being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. When a person learns to live in the moment and find consolation in their aloneness, their mind becomes something uniquely beautiful. When society is able to see what I see (even in the slightest) I feel proud, empowered, and energized. Those feelings then fuel the serotonin and dopamine inside of me, causing me to feel like I’ve made a tiny difference in someone’s life.

It was hard to interpret at first, but I found that I feel most connected to my womanhood when I can influence people’s thoughts through my art. Whether they feel touched by a poem I wrote or inspired by a picture I painted, that sense of influence makes me feel like a true woman. That is where I find real beauty in myself. It’s not in the clothes, makeup, or mannerisms – my femininity shows through my imagination and to be capable of sharing that with the world is an incredible feeling. On top of that, I always feel most like a woman when my shirt is covered in paint, my hands smudged with pencil lead, and my body cramping from the work.

No matter what it may be, don’t allow others to define your definition of womanhood because, as I said before, it is different for everyone and it should continue to be defined in a new way every day. So ask yourself, when do you feel most like a woman?

Melophobia – Fear of Music

Music is one of the most beautiful things in my life at the moment. So, I wanted to share some of my favorite songs with you. I tried to choose one song from numerous musical artists I listen to and love. My favorite genre is Indie-pop so many of these songs fall into that category. Also, I tend to listen to new artists that many people haven’t heard of because I love to find something new instead of listening to what everyone else is listening to. I have to thank some of my high school and college friends for also introducing me to some of these incredible artists! I will leave a short description of why I love the artist of each song and whatever else I feel you should know. I hope by doing this, I can expand your options in music and increase your appreciation for new music!

1. Done For Me (feat. Khelani) – Charlie Puth

So, many people already know of Charlie Puth but he came out with a new song! I actually just found this song a couple days ago and I find it so boppin’. I’ve always loved Charlie because he has a certain melody that is so unique compared to other music. His range is incredible and you can hear pieces of his other songs in this one. Kehlani has also been coming out with some new music! This would definitely be a fun song to blast in the car!

2. Mine – Bazzi

I found this song on Instagram in a snippet of a video. I thought it was really sweet and then I heard the chorus and I fell in love. This song is shorter than most songs but it’s so cute and really fun to sing along to. It seems like this guy mostly sings about love (just like everyone else does) but it’s different from all the mainstream love songs. Check out more of Bazzi’s songs, especially Beautiful.

3. Spoken For – The Holdup

I really have to thank one of my college friends for this band. They have a reggae swing and many of their songs are so catchy. It was a challenge to choose just one song from them to put on this playlist. But I feel like this song fully represents what this band mostly sounds like. After hearing their song Nothing’s On Fire in my friend’s car, I ended up listening to their whole album from 2016 – Leaves in the Pool. If you enjoy this vibe, find more of their music on their page.

4. Outside – Bea Miller

This girl amazes me because she’s only 19 but the messages behind her music and her voice seem so mature (at least to me). I picked this song because the more you listen to it, the better it gets. The chorus has a great swing and the use of piano and electric guitar is so complimentary. Many of you probably already know of her, but I wanted to share this song because it illustrates how wide her range is and how sassy she can be. Every time I go out for a walk or just need to be alone, I usually end up playing this song. I would recommend checking out her songs S.L.U.T. and Girlfriend.

5. Polygraph Eyes – YUNGBLUD

Don’t be deceived by the catchy tune of this song because it’s actually a song about sexual assault. At first, the artist sounds like a more grungy version of Ed Sheeran. But you have to keep listening to the lyrics. This song is both beautiful and heartbreaking because they made a song out of the story, where you can clearly visualize each part. In case you didn’t quite understand it, it’s about a girl who got too drunk at a party and some random guy took her to his place. He sexually assaulted her and when she tried to tell her boyfriend, he didn’t believe her and thought she was just messing around with other guys. I can find appreciation for this song, though, because there aren’t many songs written about these issues (unless they’re a rap song). If you found this song interesting, check out more of their music on their page. I don’t know much about the band but I’m sure they have other great songs.

6. Wake Up – EDEN

EDEN’s music can break my heart in so many ways. He usually writes many slow, emotional songs but they really touch your heart at the same time. This specific song reminds me of my best friend because I used to play this song all the time on my drive home from her house. But much of EDEN’s music starts out slow and builds up to a climax. I would recommend listening to his music if you need a good cry. Honestly. It really does help. EDEN is one of my favorite artists personally and this is only one of many wonderful songs he has written.

7. Stoned On You – Jaymes Young

Yet another one of my favorite artists! He also reminds me of EDEN because he writes very emotional music but it’s more psychedelic and happy. His music has more of a swing and catchy beat. Jaymes Young also uses strange instruments and sounds to add to his hallucinatory music. The good thing is that you can listen to his music whether you’re in a good mood or not and it’ll make you feel better either way. Check out some of his other songs like Infinity and Come Back For Me.

8. What About Everything? – Carbon Leaf

My oldest brother introduced me to this band and I fell in love with their voices. This kind of music is more Celtic but they have written some wonderful songs that I keep close to my heart. This specific song was the first song I heard from them and dearly admired the vocals and harmony. It sounds like a strange song, but it’s really just about the game of life. Their other music is just as catchy, so if you think you like them, see what else they’ve written.

9. Brazil – Declan McKenna

I discovered Declan on the radio when I was going to school one day. Not many people know of him but he’s an interesting artist. He writes about a lot of social and political issues but all his songs are so cheerful. For such a young artist, I’m surprised by what he sings about and how each of his songs has a slight 90’s sound. Brazil was one of the first big songs that got him noticed more in the music industry. If you enjoy the sound, see more of his songs on his page.

10. Dead – Madison Beer

One day, I heard my roommate listening to this song and I fell in love with how techno/jazzy it sounds. Madison has a beautiful voice and her other songs are just as groovy. I feel like this would be a good song to listen to if you’re having relationship problems or if you’re having a crappy day. Sometimes listening to negative music when you feel negative helps you feel better because the music lets out your emotions for you. It’s weird, but it works for some people. I don’t know much more about her besides that she has an interesting name, but I recommend listening to more of her sassy, devious love songs.

11. Leftovers – Dennis Lloyd

I’ve only heard two songs from this artist, but both of them were so rhythmic! Similar to Madison Beer, Dennis has a jazzy swing, beginning the song with one instrument and a snap. But as the song progresses, more instruments are added in to add more power to the song. He has very laid back music that is still moving enough to lightly head bop to the songs. Maybe enjoy a drink or smoke while listening to this song. If you ever wanna feel cool or badass, listen to more of his music.

12. Red Cold River – Breaking Benjamin

Thanks to another one of my college friends, I fell in love with Breaking Benjamin. This music isn’t for everyone since it’s a rock band (but it sounds more like heavy metal/screamo in some parts). I love this band, though, because you can still hear what they are saying, unlike a lot of screamo music. Their music is also emotional and it actually has melody, whereas other songs in this genre just sound like noise. This song could be good motivation music for working out and running. If this song doesn’t quite do it for you, I would suggest listening to their song, Diary of Jane, because it is a softer song.

13. Honeybee – Steam Powered Giraffe

Besides the funny band name, this group has some of the most adorable music I’ve ever heard. The most you listen to this song in particular, the more you find appreciation for all the different uses of harmony and melody! I would recommend listening to this song first and then checking out the music video. The video is so weird that some people can’t decide if they actually liked the song because they were too distracted by the strange characters in the video. This group is oddly creative, though, in the way they dress and perform. Some of their other songs are more fast-paced and kinda sound like jitterbug songs. If you enjoyed this, there more where that came from on their page!

14. Without You – Oh Wonder

Maybe many of you have heard of Oh Wonder, but if not, welcome! This band has two main singers who usually sing every song in sync. It makes for pretty vocals and ties their music together. Like some of the other artists, they write emotional songs, but they have a certain beat that still makes you want to dance. Their signature sound is pop with a techno twist. If you ever need a study break or need to relax for a little, put their music on and get lost in the sound! Luckily, they are on tour again, so if you liked this song, check out their new music and get tickets!

15. & 16. IDGAF and Last Dance – Dua Lipa

Sorry, but I had to break the rules and add two of Dua’s songs. Hopefully, many of you have heard of her because she is climbing the charts of all the music billboards. Dua is my #1 favorite female artist and has become one of the most inspirational musical artists in my life (so, I’m sorry, but I have a lot to say about her). Her music is not mainstream. Her voice is so unique that it emphasizes the emotion and tone of every song. Whether it be a poppy upbeat song or emotional deep song, her music touches me. Regardless if I can relate to her story, I can feel connected to her and her story. I get so emerged in the emotion of the song. Her entire album has a soft nostalgic feel to it but at the same time, it captures you in the moment of the melody. Every specific bass drop and lyric in her songs are so specifically put together. Dua definitely has a talent for making people share the emotions and feelings she had with the production of each song. It makes you feel as though you are with her, relating to her hurt or happiness or loneliness in each verse and chorus. Her music gives you the feels (and I know that sounds dumb, but it’s so true). It makes you want to cry. Dua’s music is so interesting, though, because each song could either be a calming emotional coast or a jam to blast through the speakers. Every song builds up to make you feel more emotional with every line and lyric. You could say that it’s easy to fall into your feelings when listening to her music. But it’s such an incredible feeling because her music isn’t typical. She doesn’t talk about sex and love in an explicit way. Instead, she rather reveals the more beautiful parts of love. Her music is different in that it isn’t materialistic. We are stuck in a materialistic world of music where every other song is about the same dirty love story using different words and vulgar lyrics. It’s mind-numbing to be surrounded by that kind of media all the time. That’s why I’ve strayed from the radio and find music that will actually speak to me; music that is meaningful and that breaks away from the norms and expectations of the music industry. To be able to relate to a song through pure emotion without having that same personal experience takes a lot of talent. That talent comes so naturally to Dua. She is different in a good way and inspires people not only through the message of her music but with the melody, tune, rhythm, and vibe. I strongly encourage you to listen to more of her music because you just might find your life’s theme song and a new inspiration! Dua will be on a summer tour in 2018. Get tickets now!

17. Trouble Sleeping – Corrine Bailey Rae

If you’re looking for a little “feel good” music, then you’ve come to the right place. I’ve been listening to Corrine since I was 15. She usually makes really relaxed, dreamy music. Even to this day, I swear I’m going to play her song, Like A Star, on my wedding day because it’s the perfect love story/slow song. Her music makes you want to sway to the rhythm. It’s really easy to get lost in Corrine’s music, but that’s the best kind of music! Check out this jazzy girl on her page.

18. Can’t Get Enough – Basenji

Welcome to the beautiful world of EXTREMELY catchy music. This song might sound familiar to some of you because it is the opening song for the movie Nerve. It was love at first sound so I searched the song and listened to it roughly… 13 times in a row. Since this song doesn’t have many lyrics, it is also a great song to study with (in my opinion). I encourage you to check out more of their music because I guarantee it will make you tap your foot!

19. Paris in the Rain – Lauv

Lauv is a fairly new artist but more and more people are starting to listen to him. I discovered him from an Indie genre youtube channel. His voice is so serene and great to sing along with. Lauv has lots of catchy, adorable songs. He makes a lot of music that also builds up to move his audience in a beautiful way. I recently saw him on tour and his performance is so exciting! Check out his page, especially his song Easy Love.

20. Dirty Water – Marc E. Bassy

If you’re looking for a bop, then let me introduce you to Marc. Once again, I have to thank my college friend for unconsciously playing this amazing music in his room. Every one of Marc’s songs has a powerful swing/hook that can give you goosebumps. His music will make you wanna sway your head side to side with it’s hypnotizing rhythm and bop to the beat. If you really wanna feel the drop of a great, chilling hook, listen to Marc’s song You & Me, feat. G-Eazy or Plot Twist. Hope you enjoy!

21. Such A Boy – Astrid S.

This is another artist that I don’t know too much about, but this song is so wonderful. Astrid caught my eye… (or, ear, I guess) because, at the hook, only gentle instruments play. I find that interesting because songs usually add more instruments in their hook to build up to the chorus. Aside from that, this song is a rollercoaster of range and rhythm. I believe she’s starting to get noticed by a bigger audience, but if you haven’t heard of her, I’m glad I could share this song with you. I’m sure Astrid’s other songs are really great as well!

22. Keep My Head Afloat – Jeremy Zucker

Jeremy, my friend! Jeremy goes to college in Colorado and has been writing since he was about 16. I also saw him in concert – he opened for Lauv. Many years back, I discovered Jeremy on the same indie youtube channel I found Lauv on. I like how he uses a different melody than most songs and that many of his choruses are techno combinations. This song was super easy to pick to put on this playlist. Just wait till the pre-chorus, you might fall in love! If this music grooves you, listen to his other songs!

23. Alone Together – Rook1e, Chris Wright, Olivia Herdt

Alone Together is another song that I played on loop for so long. The story is adorable and the beginning vocals are gorgeous. How can you not fall in love with a voice like that? At first, this song sounds like it could be played at a fancy restaurant but the verses introduce melodic rap. Rook1e takes other movie dialogue and creates a song out of them: he’s pretty talented. I admire music like this because it’s a love story, but the kind of story that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. This would be a perfect song for a sunny/rainy/cloudy day. Find more of his sweet songs on his page.

24. Your Eyes – Joey Pecoraro

Now, here is some good study music! Similar to Rook1e, Joey occasionally takes movie and film dialogue and makes music out of it. This is more of the music you would hear either in an elevator or fancy hotel. His music has minimal lyrics so it’s great for concentration and relaxation. He uses the piano in a lot of his songs and his music is also perfect for napping. Seriously. One time, my friend took a nap so I played Joey’s music at a quiet volume and when she woke up, she said that music helped her clear her mind and sleep. If you’re looking for more instrumental, calming music, Joey is the guy for you and his other songs will do you justice!

25. & 26. The Good In Me and Jungle – Jon Bellion

Yet another artist that I had to break the rules for. Jon is my #1 favorite male artist. He is definitely not mainstream but I hope you can appreciate that. He has such an interesting way of making music. In an interview, he explained that he can’t read music notes to save his life. He makes all his music by what sounds good. Jon will add instruments in random places instead of in a normal 4 or 8 count pattern. The first song I ever heard by him was Jungle in my brother’s car. I thought it was a super strange song, but the more I listened to it, the more I began to move my foot to the beat. For all of his songs, he generally uses a beat pad and generates his own sounds, which is why there are many random yelps and shouts in his music. It’s incredible, though, to watch him create a song because he knows exactly what he wants it to sound like. On top of that, he has never written a single lyric down, it all comes out naturally. Jon is honestly one of the most talented people I know and I was so honored to see him in concert back in 2017! Aside from his surreal sound, his lyrics and messages behind his music are so emotionally moving (in a good way). Check out more of Jon’s music if you enjoy this distinct sound and want something to really get lost in.

27. Prom Queen – Molly Kate Kestner

The first time I heard this song, it reminded me of the show 13 Reasons Why for some reason. Molly isn’t very well known by anyone but she has a wonderful voice that fits the tone of all her music. I loved the use of piano in this song and I love hearing how sassy/cynical this song is. Molly is different because she has a deeper voice, but I honestly find that really admirable because I feel like you don’t hear many deeper-voiced female artists out there. Funny story: I listened to this song on the night of my senior prom and it really set the mood (that prom wasn’t so great). Anyways, check out more of her songs, especially I Don’t Know.

28. Baby Girl – SMNM

This is one out of two songs that I’ve heard from this artist. But I really enjoy the soft, somber sound of his music. This music definitely tugs at my heartstrings with its dragged out instrumentals and mysterious chorus. If you enjoy these vocals and this kind of music, check of SMNM for more.

29. Night Like This – LP

I remember I found this artist by accident. I saw a music video with Brittany Snow (one of my favorite actresses) on the thumbnail and it happened to be Into The Wild by LP. This girl has one of the strangest, most unique voices I’ve ever heard and her vertebrata is absolutely incredible. She’s also a pro at whistling. Much of her music is upbeat like this one and super cute. Her music is perfect for road trips and adventuring. Check find more of her crazy music on her page.

30. Trouble – Never Shout Never

Out of all the adorable ukulele songs, this is in my top 5. This guy’s vocals are so gentle and calming in a way that perfectly compliments his ukulele solos. Plus, the story of all his songs is just so cute. They are a cheesy, feel-good sort of story. I find it funny that he changed his appearance and style because now he looks like an emo punk rock boy. If you saw him, you wouldn’t think he was the kind of guy to write sweet songs like this one! If you want to listen to lovely music, check out more of Never Shout Never!

31. Love Won’t Sleep – Lostboycrow

Sometimes, I think this song could be like a techno lullaby. I’ve only heard two songs (including this one) from this artist, but I like his indie style. This music could be for when you just need to take a walk – it’s nice to have on your mind. Similar to other songs, they build up to the chorus by adding more drum progressions to the pre-chorus. This music is great for relaxing and stimulating the mind. Check out more of their songs on their page.

32. Make You Feel Loved – CADE

Goodness, Cade’s voice is so pretty. His music is a little more mainstream when you get to the chorus with his use of a techno pattern instead of actual lyrics. This song is a jam to play in the car! His other song, Care, is similar to this one and just as boppin’. Every time I hear this song, I just envision city lights. Cade’s music might not be for everyone, but if you enjoy it, find more on his page.

33. Someone Like You – The Girl and The Dreamcatcher

Thank you to my best friend for introducing me to this cute duet group. This song is probably one of the cutest stories because it’s not quite sugarcoated like a lot of perfect love songs. They sing about the possibility that things won’t go perfectly, but the relationship could still work. Both artists have lovely voices that mesh well together to make heartwarming music. Their harmonies will be the death of me! Find more of their songs, especially Make You Stay.

34. Guru – Coast Modern

I discovered this group in high school a couple years ago and have even hung out with this group and their family! Coast Modern was on the Alt Nation radio station and their use of strange instruments drew me in. Their very first song, Hollow Life, is another one of their groovy songs. This was also the first song I made a lyric video for that has reached over 74K views. I’m honored to promote them through my youtube channel and on this blog post. They generally make calm, beachy music. So check out their page and share them with your friends!

35. Primadonna – Marina and the Diamonds

I’ll admit, I said this girl’s name wrong for so many years… oops. I’m sure many of you know of this artist but I wanted to share this song because it’s just so extra. Anyways, one of my childhood friends introduced me to this song at the beginning of high school and I remember yelling at her “why haven’t you shown this to me before?!” This music seems like it’s more for the girls than the boys, but it could be for everyone if they enjoy this sassy, spunky genre. This is one of my favorite songs to blast in a car because it feels like you’re at a crazy party. To be honest, I also play this song when I want to feel dramatic/theatrical. It’s super fun to dance to. Since this is probably a familiar artist to a lot of you, enjoy the rest of her music.

36. Crybaby – Melanie Martinez

I hope many of you have heard of this girl. Once again, my childhood friend showed me this artist. We listened to Melanie’s song Dollhouse. I remember sitting in her room, staring at the ceiling. I started feeling so sad but so intrigued by the story. After listening to her other music, I fell in love with the genre and her character. She started out on The Voice and chose Adam Levine for her coach. After the show, she went on to make her own music. Melanie is quite the character… specifically the character of CryBaby. She sings very dark songs but simplifies the level of her lyrics as if a young child is writing them. Her first album is an entire story of her life told through the character of CryBaby. Most of CryBaby’s experiences are things that Melanie has gone through, but some of them are just stories about social issues. She wrote songs about sexual assault, plastic surgery, and imperfect family life. Some of her songs sound so happy and upbeat (like Playdate) while others have a creepy tune (like Carousel). But her style is so different than any other artist I’ve listened to, so I admire this strange girl. She will be coming out with a new album soon. If this seems like something you might like or you’re just looking for something extremely different than any other genre, listen to more of her music.

37. Puzzle Pieces – Saint Motel

I found this band on the Alt Nation radio station too! They usually have a piano in all of their songs. They are an interesting band because they also sing about social issues but the tune is so joyful sounding that you almost forget about what the issue is. This specific song is about plastic surgery and (in my opinion) it gets funnier the more you listen to the lyrics. It’s also a little disturbing if you think about it. But all of their songs have such a catchy hook that you just gotta listen to the whole song. See more of their music on their page.

Thank you for letting me share! I hope you found something new to listen to!

Thantophobia – Fear of Losing Someone You Love

I miss you.
Although I see you every day, I feel as though I haven’t seen you at all.
You take me back to that Blink182 song.
You know which one I’m talking about.
You love that band and that genre of music.
Many times I wish nothing had changed between us because I loved what we had.
Our simple friendship.
It was something to reminisce about.
Weeks and months to follow, I still daydream of the moments we shared.
Especially after that one traumatic night.
Remember?
It was just you and I.
We had the whole night to ourselves and although it had beaten me down, I hoped moments like that would never stop.
Goodness, do you even know how happy you made me?
In the course of seven months.
Do you know how much you made me laugh and feel something again?
I know you haven’t felt happiness in a while, but you had to have felt something in those moments we had.
I know you.
So what if some things are different now?
I still understand you and what you feel.
It’s strange to say “I miss you” even when you are 5 feet away.
Maybe you won’t understand this but you’ll be intelligent enough to know that this is for you.
In the silence of your room, I wonder if you still think of me.
I wonder many things about you but I’ll never let you know.
Please just sober up and come back.
I don’t want things to change so quickly.
I just want us.
Just for a little while longer, if you’ll let it be.
I miss you.

Scotomaphobia – Fear of Going Blind

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” – Helen Keller

Have you ever met a blind person? Do you know how they interact with their surroundings? Have you realized that they are just normal people without sight? Just because someone is blind doesn’t mean they are any less of a person than those with sight. In fact, our brain can “perceive” what we think we see. Blind people have changed the world in many areas such as music, politics, science, art, and sports because they won’t allow their absence of sight to prevent them from inspiring society in different ways! The world has been incredibly impacted by the courage and talent of these visually impaired people. Take Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder for example. They are stuck in an everlasting darkness, but they are talented musicians and writers. Through their work, they have inspired many, giving hope to the blind and deaf, and encouraged those with sight that anything is possible. Both public figures had a vision for the future, and they can’t even see!

Life is too short to not make some sort of a difference in the world, whether it be a big or small act. Many people just see the world as it is; they simply observe the world and how their lives are changed by others. Yet, they aren’t the one changing others’ lives. They have sight but no vision. There needs to be more dreamers in this bland world. More who are willing to have a vision for the future and strive to peruse that vision in order to make the world a better place for everyone. It all starts with a single thought. Whether you’re blind or not, you can envision a better tomorrow!

Maniaphobia – Fear of Insanity

Gas·light

/ˈɡaslīt/

verb

manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.

As I was browsing online one day, I found an article on something called the Gaslight Effect. After reading the article, I felt somewhat somber but had more understanding of the concept of gaslighting. I wanted to share this with you to shed some light on the issue. At some point in your life, you might encounter an emotional abuser – a relative, friend, or romantic partner who’s more interested in controlling you than in caring for you as a person. This behavior is not acceptable at all.

Were You Born Under The Gaslight?

When applied to a family, the gaslight treatment is a special form of dysfunction. It happens when you, a child, receive messages or encounter experiences within the family which are deeply contradictory. Messages which are opposing and conflicting; experiences which can’t both be true. When you can’t make sense of something, it’s natural to apply the only possible answer:

“Something is wrong with me.”

Today, scores of children are growing up under a gaslight of their own. And scores of adults are living their lives baffled by what went on in their families, having grown up thinking that they, not their families, are crazy.

I have seen gaslighting cause personality disorders, depression, anxiety, and a host of other lifelong struggles. Receiving contradictory messages that don’t make sense can shake the very ground that a child walks on.

The Four Types of Child Gaslighting:

The Double-Bind Parent: This type was first identified by Gregory Bateson in 1956. The double-bind mother has been linked by research to the development of schizophrenia and Borderline Personality Disorder. This type of parent goes back and forth unpredictably between enveloping (perhaps smothering) the child with love and coldly rejecting him.

The Message: You are nothing. You are everything. Nothing is real. You are not real.

The Gaslight Effect: As an adult, you don’t trust yourself, your validity as a human being, your feelings, or your perceptions. Nothing seems real. You stand on shaky ground. You have great difficulty trusting that anyone means what they say. It’s extremely hard to rely on yourself or anyone else.

The Unpredictable, Contradictory Parent: Here, your parent might react to the same situation drastically differently at different times or on different days, based on factors that are not visible to you. For example, a parent who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs one day and not the next; a parent who is manic at times, and depressed other times, or a parent who is extremely emotionally unstable. Whatever the reason for the parent’s opposing behaviors, you, the innocent child, know only that your parent flies into a rage one moment and is calm and seems normal the next.

The Message: You are on shaky ground. Anything can happen at any time. No one makes sense.

The Gaslight Effect: You don’t trust your own ability to read or understand people; you have difficulty managing and understanding your own emotions, and those of others. You struggle to trust anyone, including yourself.

The Appearance-Conscious Family: In these families, style always trumps substance. All must look good, or maybe even perfect, especially when it’s not. There’s little room for the mistakes, pain, or natural human shortcomings of the family members. The emphasis is on presenting the image of the ideal family. Here, you experience a family which appears perfect from the outside, but which is quite imperfect, or even severely dysfunctional, on the inside. This can stem from Achievement / Perfection focused parents (as described in Running on Empty), or from narcissistic parents.

The Message: You must be perfect. Natural human flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses must be hidden and ignored. You are not allowed to be a regular human being.

The Gaslight Effect: You feel deeply ashamed of yourself and your basic humanness. You ignore your own feelings and your own pain because you don’t believe it’s real, or that it matters. You tend to see and focus on only the positive things in your life, which fit into a particular template. You are extremely hard on yourself for making mistakes, or you put them out of your mind and simply pretend they didn’t happen. You may be missing out on the most important parts of life which make it worthwhile: the messy, real world of intimacy, relationships, and emotion.

The Emotionally Neglectful Family (CEN): In this family, your physical needs may be met just fine. But your emotional needs are ignored. No one notices what the children are feeling. The language of emotion is not used in the home. “Don’t cry,” “Suck it up,” “Don’t be so sensitive,” are frequently uttered by the CEN parent. The most basic, primary part of what makes you (your emotional self) is treated as a burden or non-existent.

The Message: Your feelings and needs are bad and a burden to others. Keep them hidden. Don’t rely on others, and don’t need anything. You don’t matter.

The Gaslight Effect: You have been trained to deny the most deeply personal, biological part of who you are, your emotions, and you have dutifully pushed them out of sight and out of mind. Now, you live your life with a deeply ingrained feeling that you are missing something that other people have. You feel empty or numb at times. You don’t trust yourself or your judgments because you lack your emotions to guide you. Your connections to others are one-way or lack emotional depth. Even if you are surrounded by people, deep down you feel alone. None of it makes any sense to you.

Were you born under the gaslight? If so, you are not alone. You are not invalid or crazy or wrong. it’s vital to realize that you have been, by definition, deeply invalidated. But “invalidated” and “invalid” are not the same. “Invalidated” is an action, and “invalid” is a state of mind. You can’t change what your parents did and didn’t do, but you can change your state of mind.

Gaslighting (in the simplest terms) messes with your mind. It makes you think that YOU are the one doing something wrong when really, it’s the other way around. Although this article went into detail about family gaslighting, it happens in friendships, partnerships, and other relationships.

Many people, including myself, have suffered and still are suffering from gaslighting. This type of manipulation technique is often slow and subtle. At first, the abuse can occur in such small instances that it seems silly to argue over it. But over time, these small instances build up and they cause a person to question their own behavior and thoughts on the situation. A few results of this manipulation is a loss of faith and a doubt in one’s self to interpret situations correctly. There are some ways to identify a victim of gaslighting. They constantly doubt themselves and apologize often. They also hesitate and avoid saying certain things out of fear of others’ responses. I’m sure most people have experienced manipulation at some point in their lives and have even manipulated others. However, if you experience manipulation to the point where it can be classified as gaslighting, I encourage you to take a step back and find a way to destroy that manipulative interaction. Even if you don’t believe it, there are many people who have experienced similar situations and can relate to these scenarios. There are some really great listeners out there who will listen to your every word and offer you their own advice. Whether that be your friend, neighbor, or relative, find someone who you fully trust and be willing to open up to them about your issue.

Going through any sort of trial alone is never fun (and I don’t recommend fighting them alone). Sometimes, you can become your own worst enemy by manipulating yourself into thinking that the only problem is yourself. I understand that some people think their problems are no one else’s business, but being exposed to a different perspective can be a healthy option. Once you’ve been fighting a battle for so long, it can be challenging to change your thought process to a more positive one. After all, you’ve been trapped in a black hole of abuse for so long, feeling hopeless and completely alone. Take a chance, show a little vulnerability, and reach your hand out for someone to grab. You might be surprised by how strong someone can be to be able to pull you out of that black hole. Although society’s standards say you must never show weakness, I encourage you to let someone else be strong for you every once in awhile. Sometimes you can’t do it all on your own and that’s okay to admit.

On the other hand, if you believe that you can push through everything on your own, then kudos to you! With that strength, I hope you can be that person who walks into the darkness and pulls people into the light. Take as many people out of the abusive environment as you can. Be strong for others when they can barely stand anymore. The result of that can be better than any physical reward you could receive. Trust me. In my opinion, changing someone’s life for the better seems like a really wonderful reward to carry with you. Once they escape gaslighting, they will help others escape it as well, creating a ripple effect. Whether you’re a gaslight victim or not, just take a risk and call out to people. Call out to people for help or call out to people who need help. Nothing’s going to change if you don’t take action. You never know who you could be saving from the Gaslight Effect.

Article: Were You Born Under the Gaslight?

Summary:

Theologicophobia – Fear of Theology

I remember the day I met you;

It was in a daydream six years ago

In a small meadow that I laid in to rest.

The meadow was surrounded by trees on every side.

At first, I didn’t see you,

All I saw where the vibrant flowers;

They swayed in the gentle wind.

Everything was at peace in the serene evening.

I sat up and gazed over the tall grass.

That’s when I saw you.

More radiant than an Angel, you were standing

On the other side of the meadow.

Though you seemed to be a mile away,

I saw your face as clear as day.

As I stood up, you noticed me

And revealed a smile that melted the world.

We stood there, staring at each other.

I had an overwhelming feeling of affection in my heart,

It hit me so suddenly with incredible force,

Similarly to waves crashing on the rocks by the shore.

You began to approach me

And closed the space between us

With each step you took,

You started to age backward.

You stood nearly seven feet away,

You were so close that I felt myself tremble.

I looked into your magnificent eyes

While everything else disappeared.

“Do not feel lost, my child,

For you are mine and you are home.

Follow me and I will be your stronghold.

Come. Rise and walk by my side.”

You held out your hand for me to take.

Suddenly, a burst of light illuminated your body.

It shined as bright as the sun,

It was so radiant I couldn’t see anything.

A moment passed and the light dimmed.

You were far away now,

On the other side of the meadow again.

I wanted to run after you but stayed still.

You gazed at me one last time,

And as you did, you motioned to me

To follow you further into the meadow

Where we would walk into the sunset together.

After you took a few steps toward the trees,

You disappeared into the atmosphere.

Though I saw you walk away,

I was not sorrowful.

I yelled into the meadow,

Loud enough for the Angels to hear.

I knew you would listen

Because you have never abandoned me before.

“Father, I yearn for Heaven,

But I know Hell yearns for me.

I shall follow you in my blindness,

Because I live by faith, not by sight.

You are my Savior!

There is no one I love more than you.

I’m ready to do your will

And come home in the end!”

My voice echoed across the meadow.

There was silence.

All I knew was that you heard my call

And you gave me the strength to carry on by faith.

I pray we may meet again soon…