The Pier


If you shall sail away tomorrow, dear
May I pass by the foaming white beach side
And lay my soul to rest beneath the pier

How can I live if I live in this fear?
Not enough times, i tried, you tried, we tried
And soon you’ll sail away tomorrow, dear

Is it worth living worlds away, from here?
Or worth living without your love, your bride?
If so, I’ll lay my soul below the pier

My heart like an anchor, it pulls you near
But distance binds me underneath the tide
How can you sail away today, my dear?

May I sink to the ocean floor, so clear
The waves stroking my feet with every stride
And soon burry my soul beneath the pier

My heart is soaked and salty as a tear
All of my bones have somehow pruned inside
And now you are sailing away, my dear
I lay my soul to sleep beneath the pier

Athazagoraphobia – Fear of Being Forgotten


My dear friend,

I’m sitting in a coffee shop, listening to our song being played through the small circular speakers in the ceiling. What a coincidence, right? It almost feels like you are with me at this moment. The slightly muffled melody brings me back to your bedroom. I still remember the times when we would have little dance parties in your room and sing at the top of our lungs until we ran out of breath. Yes, I do still remember those times. I know you think I forgot, but I still store all of our small memories in the back of my head.

It has been a while since we last spoke. As I am writing this to you, I am still remembering your face and the way your laugh sounded and what your hugs felt like. I remember so much about you even though it’s been months since I last saw you, or at least it feels like it.

I know we have moved on from each other, but I’ll be one hundred percent honest, there’s still a part of me that misses you and wishes you would come back. I know you won’t, though, and I understand that you can’t.

I apologize that I was only able to share in your happiness through dim-lit screens. But, I am so glad you have found someone new to share your beautifully ambitious life with. Even though we no longer speak, I wish you the very best.   

I’m sorry that I never told you.  

But I hope you can understand.  

I still have my cuts and bruises from the past that occasionally reopen. It’s alright though, I’ve stocked up heavily on band-aids. And though I may still be bleeding, I am so joyful to see that your own cuts are almost all healed. Even if my wounds never disappear, I will find happiness in your own recovery.  

With everything we’ve been through, my pain doesn’t trouble me any longer. It still hurts but I can be tolerant and move on from my own injuries. It’s you that I care about. It’s your pain that I want to take onto my own shoulders so that you no longer have to suffer. If it means you can find happiness, I will do it.  

Take my word.

I will.

Don’t worry about my own health. I fight my own battles and still come out alive. You don’t know this, but I have found a few new warriors that have been walking the same path as me. They’ve walked with me for nearly a year now and even took the time to stitch up my gashes.

So, as we both continue our journeys, I will leave you with this. As your friend, I simply wish you the very best life you can have even if that means you must let me go.

I just want you to be happy.

Sincerely,

The one who will never forget you ❤