Imperfect Facade


Do you want to know what’s eating me alive?
It’s all these thoughts I bottle up inside.
My mind continues to recite this unspoken soliloquy.
It plays in my head, non-stop, repeatedly.
These are some of the lines:

“I may be everything you wanted but I could never be everything you needed. Defeated is all I’ll ever be in my abandoned memory. To you, I applaud your hypocrisy, for it was much more deceptive than I remember. But what right have I got to state that claim when I suffer from memory loss and numbing pain. You put on this facade so often, I can’t even remember who you used to be. To me, you were imperfectly pure. But I can’t find that in you anymore.”

You stabbed me so hard,
I nearly fell through the floor.
But you held your hand out to catch me,
you confused me once more.
How much longer
do we have to live like this?
That’s all I want to know.